The Italian that went to Malta

(read with an italian accent)So one day Ima gonna to a bigga hotel. In the morning, I come down for breakfast. I tell the waitress I wanna to pissa toast. She bring me only one. I tell her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you better no piss on the plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady, and she call me sonna ma bitch!So I go other bigga restaurant. The waitress bring me a knife, a spoon and no fock. I tell her I wanna fock. She say everybody wanna fock. I say you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say, you better no fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. So I go back to my bigga hotel, I comma in the room, and there are no shit on ma bed. I call manager and tell him I wanna shit. He say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna shit on the bed. He say you better no shit on the bed, you sonna ma bitch.So I go check out and porter say "Peace on you!" So I say, piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, ima gonna back Italy.