Memo to all employees:

In order to assure the highest levels of qualitywork and productivity, it will be our policy to keepall employees well trained through our program ofSPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We aretrying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyoneelse.If you feel that you do not receive your share ofS.H.I.T. , please see your manager. You will beimmediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list,and the management will do it's utmost to assure thatyou get all the S.H.I.T. that you can handle.Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will beplaced in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS(D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously, will have to go to EDUCATIONALATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since yourmanagers took S.H.I.T. before they became your bosses,they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are allfull of S.H.I.T. already.If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interestedin a job teaching others. We can add your name to ourBASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).For employees who are intending to pursue a careerin management and constancy, we will refer you to thedepartment of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCHEDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizeshow to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.If you have further questions, please direct themto our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITYTRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).Thank you